So, I have come to another realization (there are so many it is hard to type them all out) lately - it seems like I have had a lot of stuff floating around in my head, that I've needed to get out on "paper", but I have just kept it swimming around in there.  So, if you are reading this you probably will come to understand that I am a human being, and probably similar to most humans on the planet - I have weaknesses and imperfections.

     Over the past 2 years or so I have began to wonder if God really did play an important role in my life - if He cared about what was going on in my life, or most important of all, if He was even there.  You may ask how all of this comes about to someone who has already served a mission for the Church, and has grown up in the environment of the Gospel continually being taught to them, but this period of life is a growing, changing, and learning time.  A big part of this that comes to mind deals with me selecting a major.  I have struggled over the last year (about) between picking "the perfect major" for me.  After many heart-felt prayers that I felt were never answered in my behalf, I began to wonder what was going on.  What I have came to realize (or at least I think that this is how it is) is this - this is a time of learning and growing, and making important decisions, such as major selection, spouse selection, job selections, etc.  Because these type of decisions are very important (at least in my mind), I often feel like I am entitled to get much guidance on the matter.  But, from the teachings of the Apostles and Prophets of the Church, I know a few things about prayer.  1. God always answers our prayers. 2. These answers might be yes, might be no, or nothing at all.  3. God answers prayers in His own time and in His own way.  So, in my case I had been getting a lot of "nothing" type answers to my prayers.  But I was reminded of a talk that was given in the recent few years that said something along the lines of this - whenever you pray about something and you feel like you get no answer one way or the other, it  usually means that the decision is up to you - on the other hand, if you make a decision that will not be a good decision, you will usually be notified of that.

     So, let me show you what has happened over the last little while in my life.  I have often viewed my life as a sort of roller-coaster (at least in this analogy it is);  I will have a very special spiritual experience (meaning a time when I have known that God was there, and that he did care for me), which puts me at the top of a big hill in the roller-coaster analogy.  After a while, the "spiritual high" wears off and I get to feeling normal (or even less than normal) for an extended period of time.  (I'm trying to work my way to an axiom of life that I have discovered - Axiom I).  So, as the days, weeks, and sometimes months go by, doubts start to make their way into my head, and that tends to make every aspect of daily life that much harder.  It has seemed to me throughout my 22 years of life, that it is at these points where I feel so low that I cannot continue on that that is when God gives me a "spiritual boost" (whether it be a spiritual experience, someone great entering into my life, or something else that is good (and often-times unexpected) happen to me - adding a measure of happiness into my life).  Now, how does this tie in to anything I have said earlier?  Well, lately it has felt like I have been at the bottom of the roller-coaster of life for quite some time, and doubts and stressors have been bombarding me from every angle it seems for quite some time now.

     I could go on for hours, further explaining the things that I have learned from my recent struggles, but what made me want to write this blog in the first place was sparked by something I read from the Book of Mormon just before I began typing this.  I just started reading the Book of Mormon from the very beginning (it's been a while since I've just read it straight through) and I was struck by this phrase (which happens to lead to another one of my discoveries/axioms (axiom II).  In the Introduction we read, "Concerning this record the Prophet Joseph Smith said: "I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."  During the times of doubt and struggle it would help for us to be doing everything in our lives to stay close to the Savior of the world.  So, leading to axiom II (doesn't that look fancy, roman numerals and all), this is something that I have discovered.... I have often wondered why we are commanded to search the scriptures, to read the same stories over and over again - and what the profit of that might be, but I have discovered something (at least that is relevant to myself).  It is not necessarily the physical act of laboring with our eyes, physically scanning each line that gets us anywhere, in my opinion, it is the act of sacrificing our time out of our daily lives to show God that we are putting him before the other things of the world.  I have come to discover that when we do this, we invite the Holy Ghost to be our personal tutor (by casting off the "natural man" and becoming meek, submissive, humble, basically becoming as a child - not childish, but child-"like")  As we do this, we are creating an environment that will only help us in "get[ting] nearer to God".  So, my Axiom II is this - Although we may gain something from the literal words in the scripture, the real empowering part of scripture study is that we are spending time with our Father in Heaven, and when we do this, we are empowered and guided from on high.  So, I personally feel that the words in the scriptures are important, but the personal relationship we develop with our heavenly Father, and with the Savior and the Holy Ghost is much more important (in regard to guiding our lives in a path that will lead to true happiness).

-Spencer-

So, I found out today that my Grandpa passed away, and I thought I would write some of the unique things that I remember about him.

Where should I start?  Maybe I should start by saying that my grandpa lived such an interesting life, nobody seems to know everything that he did.  I'm just going to write the things that come to my mind.

So, one of the most epic stories I can remember happened during WWII.  When becoming involved with the NAVY he told them that he was older than he was (he was 16 years old when he joined).  When he was in the NAVY, he was a "frogman" (the equivalent to a NAVY Seal today), and particularly he was involved with the UDT (under water demolition team - he disarmed bombs in the ocean, and stuff).  So, one time he was under water, working on disarming a bomb for a mission when he came to a nasty realization - while he was under the water doing his thing, his ship had left without him!!  So, he ended up floating in the Pacific for 4 days and 3 nights until a friendly ship came and got him.  He said he was praying the whole time, and tried to sleep while laying back on the water, but he said it was one of the scariest times of his life.

Epic Story #2 - One night when coming back from a business trip, he saved a girl from being raped in the airport parking lot.  Having been a "navy seal", raised on a farm for a portion of his life, he had become quite the strong man.  So, at this time he was in his prime, (about 35 if I remember right) and could take almost anyone in a fight.  So, as he was walking through the parking lot (at about 3 am) he noticed a woman and a man (the woman's fiance) struggling with a group of sketchy-looking guys.  Anyways, the guys were on drugs, and were intent on raping the woman and leaving the man to die after beating him to a pulp - my grandpa had a different plan...when all was said and done he had single-handedly fended off all of the guys (there were about 5 if I remember right) and hospitalized a few of them.  I don't remember all of the details, but I remember he slammed the car door into one of the guys ribs - causing them to break pretty nicely.  I am watering this down a lot (for the sake of public reading), but suffice it to say that some ended up in the hospital, and the others ran away.
     So, it's funny how things work out sometimes...after the police had set up a court date (that was intended to civilly settle all of the details of the situation) an interesting thing happened.  The judge just so happened to be the grandfather of the girl whom my grandpa had saved - so needless to say, there wasn't much of a court-case.

There are a billion stories from/about my grandpa, but suffice it to say that he was a stud.

He majored in mechanical engineering at BYU, and then (as if that wasn't good enough) he later went back to school at Texas A&M and got a degree in electrical engineering (no big deal right?).  He worked in many different environments, had pretty much every job there is (ish), had about the whole gamut of typical church callings, from being in bishoprics to working in the temple, but the things I am grateful for the most are the things that I will always have with me - the knowledge that that man gave to me, nobody can take away.  He spurred the inner-scientist in me and he showed me how to serve others, and for those things I will always be grateful.

-Spencer-

Throughout the past few years of my life I have slowly but surely been coming to a realization - when all is said and done, it is what we do that is most important.  Or put in religious light, it is great to believe (in Christ and His Teachings), but it is a completely independent event to actually do something about it.  When I was a missionary, I was told many times that all of my effort in this life was pointless - that if I just "believed" that nothing else mattered.  Well, I'm sorry to say, but that is bull crap.  This concept of being "saved by grace" is completely twisted around in people's heads - The truth is this - because of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, all mankind will be resurrected and receive a degree of glory, but that says nothing about our efforts being trivial and wasted.  On the contrary, I think that it is what we go through as we "do" things that actually makes us stronger - it gives us experience, knowledge, and compassion.  Obviously it is an INCREDIBLY important first step for us to "believe" in something (whether it is Gospel related or not) - otherwise we would have no cause or reason for further action.

Let me give a school example - Say I'm a smart guy (which I may or may not be) - I have been blessed with a brain that works pretty well.  Now, put me in a college calculus class.  If I am consistent in NOT doing my homework whenever it is inconvenient, if I do not get help when I don't quite understand a concept, when I consistently DON'T use my available resources such as my Professor, my TA, TA's in the math lab, or do my work with groups, should I be in utter shock and dismay when it is time for the final exam and I don't achieve my best?       I don't think so.  Well, I guess I must have thought so, because that is what happened to me the first time I took calculus at BYU.  You know, I got to the final, said a prayer that I would do good - what the heck is that?  How does that prayer make any sense or have any compelling, justifying reason to go along with it, when I never took advantage (I never "did" my part) of all the resources that I had at my disposal for 4 long months.  So, I ended up re-taking the class this past spring term, and I actually "did" something about it this time - I did my homework with a group of friends, I talked with my professor, TA, and the math lab TA's, I did my homework, and then when I got to the final exam, I prayed again for help (but with a lot more power behind my words this time) and you can probably guess what happened - I did very well.
So, naively in the past, I have often thought about situations similar to this and came to the "conclusion" that maybe God just doesn't want to help me out this time...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - could you possibly come up with a worse answer than that?  How about this for help ...(let's use my situation for an example) - Let's see, He (God) gave you a well-tuned brain, so that you could use it on your own - what a gift, He gave you good parents who raised you and taught you many good things, you have been able to attend school for most every year of your life - continuing your education and increasing your knowledge, you are lucky enough to be getting a solid-undergraduate education at a well-known university, you are surrounded with loads of people that can and will help you master your understanding of the material, and you expect that if you give up He will just give you all of the answers on a final - ... once again... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So, let me clarify what I meant when I said earlier, "...when all is said and done, it is what we do that is most important."  So, when I was in Wisconsin on my mission, and my companion and I were driving back from a teaching appointment with an older man (who took us and taught with us), he said something that has never left me.  We were talking about where we will be after this life, and what things will "hold the most water" when judgement day comes, and he said something along these lines - "The thing that will be more important than just about anything that we do in our lives will be how we have treated other people" - This "treating" can be seen as the "doing" in our lives - yeah, we could have thought about doing something nice for somebody (and we will get credit for that good thought), but what really reflects our thoughts and desires is how we physically "treat" others through our kind acts of service.

My mission is the exemplar when it comes to teaching me this principle.  As me and my friend Adam have talked about our missions we both have came to the realization that our missions have taught us all of the fundamentals that we need for the rest of our lives, and have given us ample tools to use throughout our lives (like the Professors, TA's, and fellow students), but now is the real test - now is the time to see if we will actually use the things that we have learned.

-Spencer

So, I was listening to Pres. Uchtdorf's talk, "Of Things That Matter Most", and I really liked a line from it - "Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light." - Oct 2010.  Lately that has been applicable to me, because I have been expending so much time and energy on trying to figure out what to do with my life (as far as selecting a major goes) that I have lost some perspective of what life is all about.  I have frequently felt that I will be a failure if I pick the wrong thing, but I am slowly starting to realize that it doesn't matter what I do for a career as much as it matters how I live my life, in regard to my future happiness. (Obviously it would be helpful to pick something that will easily support a family though - and that's what I am doing). He goes on to say that it is helpful for us to take time to refocus our lives on the simple things that ALWAYS lead us to true happiness.  If we keep our lives centered around these principles of the Gospel, we will continually lead happy lives, even though we may have struggles along the way.  

So, today I got back from Farmington, Utah, where Raul and I spent the first part of my Thanksgiving break with one of my old roommates Jordan Barton.  So, on Tuesday of this week, there was supposed to be a "killer" arctic blizzard coming in to the state, and it was supposed to be "the worst storm we've seen in years".  So, after receiving 2 or 3 texts from BYU warning about the travel conditions, I decided it would be best to stay and hang out with Raul in Provo for the rest of the day.  So, I baked my apple pie that I made in my cooking class, packed up the car, and then headed over to Raul's place.  I have to admit, the pie was pretty dang good - Raul, Brian, Macey (Brian's girlfriend), and I consumed it pretty quickly, it was awesome.  So, after Raul and I played some NFL Blitz on N64, we took a nap while the storm was doing its thing.  We woke up probably about an hour later, and to our dismay there was hardly any snow in sight.  So, to make a long story short, when it was about 10:30 (pm) I asked Raul if he wanted to go to Farmington right then.  (We had been advised not to travel that night, but I let my adventurous side get the best of me - I couldn't let all of my crazy winter driving experience from Wisconsin go unused - that would be a shame).    Anyways, off we went, and everything was pretty clear until we got to Thanksgiving Point, where the road changed to being slightly snow-covered.  After we had went about 10-12 miles past the "point of the mountain" it got a little more interesting.  At this point, there were no lanes on the highway - it was pretty entertaining to see people make their own lanes.

 I chose to stay left, and had fun sliding around as we tried to keep it in 5th gear.  (Don't worry mom and dad, that's a good thing).  So, the last thing that Jordan heard from us was that we would see him Wednesday afternoon (after Raul's dentist appointment), but we had a surprise for him.  So, as we are sneakily approaching the house, the light by the front door comes on, and Jordan's mom is staring at us - it was pretty funny.  So, she lets us in, and gives us the go-ahead to surprise him.  We get down to his room, and knock on his bedroom door, to which he responds, "come in" - we wait, and knock again, and he says, "come in!" As we ran in he looked so happy/confused, it was great.  He thought it was his mom knocking, and had no idea it was us - it was pretty funny.  Given this recipe for success (Jordan, his friend, me and Raul on Thanksgiving break) we end up staying up for another few hours until about 3.

The next day, Wednesday, I took Raul to Jordan's dad's office in Salt Lake, where he got some dental work done for preparing for his mission.  I dropped him off at 9am, and I started to leave, but then thought to myself, "Well, I've been thinking about dentistry for a while, so why don't I ask if I can shadow Dr. Pope?"  So, I pulled over into a side street and gave the office a call.  They said that it was fine if I came and watched, so after grabbing some dollar-menu breakfast items at Mickey D's, I ended up watching Raul get some interesting stuff done to his mouth.  I learned a lot, but was not greatly intrigued by it, although I did think that some of the procedures and technology was kind of neat.

We went to a hot tub, where Raul ended up leaving his IPhone and wallet, and this time, like a few other times during the trip, Jordan hid it, and told Raul that he did not know where it was (Raul was not amused) - Jordan is a funny guy, but sometimes so funny that you have no clue if you should trust him or not.  Sometimes he can be telling the truth, and think it is a blatant lie...sounds like somebody else I know.....

We saw Harry Potter 7 (Part 1) on Wednesday night, and there was hardly anybody in the theater.  The movie was only $6, and they had really nice leather seats, so I couldn't complain......well, there was one thing that was unfortunate.  Many of you can probably relate to what it's like to sit in the front of a theater, and have a headache from the screen being so close that you have to turn your head back and forth about a hundred times, and have trouble focusing on the movie....well, we sat in the very middle middle of the theater, and I still felt the same way, because the screen was SO MASSIVE.  I was thinking to myself, "my gosh I feel sorry for the poor people that have to sit in the front"  - fortunately there wasn't anyone in the front in this showing, but still, I think to myself "What kind of engineers design these places?".  I liked the movie, but haven't read past half way through the fifth book, so I decided I will try my best to read the whole series before the last movie comes out.  I got through 104 pages in about a day, but I'm not sure how much time/motivation I will have to keep up the pace - I obviously won't once school comes back into motion.

Thanksgiving day has got to be one of my laziest days in history!!! I slept in a nice bed, woke up and ate a very tasty potato-based breakfast meal, went back downstairs and got under the covers in the bed (because the basement was so cold), and began reading harry potter.  Yep, you guessed it, the comfort was too much - I ended up waking up a few hours later to Jordan saying, "Spencer, wake up, we have to go to eat Thanksgiving Dinner  (lunch)).  "My goodness, could I possibly have been any lazier?" - but maybe I deserved it....

So, the general pattern for the trip was this; eat food, play nfl blitz on n64, play blitz on Xbox 360, play ping-pong or guitar, chill with family, stay up late, sleep, repeat.

I could write much more, like the story of me locking my keys in my car while it was running, and calling the police to come and unlock it, or the story of Jordan making 6 dozen of his grandma's (excellent) chocolate-chip cookies and us forgetting to take the leftovers (4 dozen) with us back to provo, or the epic games of connect-4 we played with his family, or the backgammon frustration that Raul had with his IPhone, but I think I will have to leave that for another day.

When I got home, I went to the mall with Beth, and after visiting Raul at Tai-Pan Trading (where he works in the Orem Mall), I finally found some tennis-shoes that fit and feel really good for a decent price. (That should make you happy if you read this mom)

-Spencer-